Becoming an "Overnight" Success... & Coffee

This article focuses on several topics such as grief, self-validation, celebrating small wins, and recognising the hard work of those around us. There is further discussion about easing into new workplaces and maintaining our truth whilst forming new relationships.

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As aspiring barristers, the Budding Bar mentoring circle is an integral part of our journey to the Bar. Being part of this safe space has empowered us to exchange our thoughts and concerns without fear of being judged. But, it’s not just a safe space, it’s also unsurprisingly a joyful place to be. Since its inception in January 2020, we have established a true and natural sense of community, and as we prosper together, standing on the shoulders of giants (the giants being our mentors Zita Wa-Tulyahikayo and James Pereira QC) we share insights from our fortnightly discussions with you.

Starting with grief, we learn that everyone deals with grief differently, in varying stages and according to one’s experiences. Being forewarned about the death of a pet or a loved one gives us the chance to prepare our final moments together, and after experiencing this loss, we can deal with grief by holding on to positive memories and sentimental items. Strangely enough, the current pandemic has reframed our understanding of grief in a way that is relatable to almost everyone - by acquainting ourselves with the sacrifices of our ancestors, our soldiers, and our ‘migrant’ parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. We now come to appreciate that they, too, longed to reunite with their loved ones and today we make similar sacrifices, by self-isolating and maintaining social distance to protect our loved ones. By looking back, we learn that loss is followed by hope, which helps us rediscover strength. For now, we observe patience and gratitude for being able to exchange communication in a way our ancestors never experienced.

Moving onto the next point, we must prioritise internal - over external - validation. Realising that, while Law is ‘oh so competitive’, we need to reset our intentions frequently - even daily - to contribute authentically, rather than to participate in a popularity contest, so to step back and recognise why we are doing what we do. Of course, we want to be the best in our field, to: uphold the reputation of the law; encourage better communication; even, dare to be different; and, inspire others. This means that our achievements are bigger than simple rewards and recognition. Beyond the plaques and medals rest multiple stories of success - with or without award! Those without a say in who stands at the dais as champions also reap benefits from the work of others. This should keep us going because there are people in the world that need what we have to offer. Thus, maintaining self-affirmation allows us to strongly believe in what we do while conscious that some will value us when others won’t. Bearing this in mind, there is a lot of value to be found in the word ‘expectation’. We must celebrate our “small wins” as much as our “big wins”. There’s a backstory to years of perseverance and what often appears as ‘overnight’ success. Ta-dah! Conveniently, while typing away, I noticed a post on LinkedIn: “it’s called a career path because of all the small steps you take along the way”. It’s certainly time to acknowledge this, while not forgetting that many others are striving for success! There are countless superhumans like us out there, that we may not notice because many aren’t confident to boast about their work and achievements. That said, buna mani āle or coffee, anyone?

Admittedly, we are beaming with pride to introduce our very own aspiring barrister, Lauren Le Franc. Lauren is recognised as Forbes top 10 Women in Sustainability and the founder of the Little Coffee Company [www.littlecoffeecompany.com], an award-winning sustainable enterprise.

Using Lauren’s entrepreneurial experience, coupled with James Pereira QC’s experience in advocacy and Zita Wa-Tulyahikayo’s ‘Life Therapy’ experience [https://lifetherapywithzita.com/], we pondered the value of our diverse backgrounds, transferable skills, and wide-ranging experience, to appreciate what we truly bring to the table. We realise that there is a lot to gain moving forward from a fixed mindset to one that is open to listening to our clients’ requirements. Seeing as we are representing them, we need to understand and respect their needs. After all, as they say, ‘with great power comes great responsibility...’ … on top of the pressure, insecurities and challenges faced. Like any professional, lawyers too must prepare thoroughly as ‘there is no substitute for hard work’ and this preparation eases us into advocacy for the much anticipated and enjoyable times! Moreover, identifying our USP (unique selling point) allows us to stand out from our peers. There isn’t a single way of doing a good job so knowing the law is one of many tricks; there are other manoeuvres.

In the end, we decide what story to tell by being conscious that our journeys are unique to each of us. While others may struggle with a power play, we can own our truth to unravel a different outcome. These differences can be liberating, so we must live as though there aren’t insurmountable obstacles, while conscious of the language we may use to put ourselves down. Ultimately, it is powerful to be in control of oneself and to celebrate progress between milestones. Tolerant that the thing we push away binds us most closely and that resolving this is about acceptance. If we pay attention to what happens when we embrace our differences, we discover strength, notwithstanding that the majority of professionals are there to help so our treatment of people can work in our favour later on.

As aspiring barristers, we can learn and grow from each other and form solid foundations. At times it may feel like we are losing our way but by trusting ourselves and the process we will realise that we are finding our way. Having the reassurance that growth and success sit on failure and that welcoming rejection as redirection can give meaning to our understanding of confidence. Better than expecting so much from ourselves, we should bank our experience but also be comfortable not knowing everything. This new experience is more familiar to us than we realise so there is no need to be afraid of dealing with others. Our opponent doesn’t always know everything. We all feel stress and fatigue and so we are equals. Essentially, superhumans aren’t always super! For us, this is more about truth than rivalry and discord. Here we are, dealing with the humanity and fragility of people, so we can alter our mindset, by forming a connection with others and solving problems together.

Umrah Mahadik